


rightfully so

by ashereads



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Asthma, Asthma Attacks, Hinata Shouyou & Tsukishima Kei Friendship, Kenma Is A Good Boyfriend, Kozume Kenma is So Done, M/M, Panic Attacks, Trans Character, Trans Hinata Shouyou, Trans Male Character, Trans Tsukishima Kei, Trans Yaku Morisuke, dont sleep in your binder, i dont know what else to tag, kenhina - Freeform, mentioned - Freeform, must project my problems on characters, trans author, unsafe binding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:27:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27041980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashereads/pseuds/ashereads
Summary: “...So, you’re trans?” Kenma asked, Shoyo hesitantly nodded, Kenma scowled “You idiot! You're not supposed to sleep in those things.” He scolded, Shoyo turned his head so fast, you could hear a crack.“What-” He gaped, Kenma sent him a slightly annoyed but sympathetic look.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 10
Kudos: 273





	rightfully so

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning for unsafe binding, mild descriptions of panic and asthma attack.
> 
> Please don't sleep in your binders.
> 
> Please be safe, loves.

“And then Tadashi made the ball go whoop- and then wam! And then stupid Kageyama got smacked in the face.” he snickered, Kenma hummed in disinterest, attempting at defeating the boss for his game while Shoyo played with his hair “That got Tsukishima and Tanaka to start laughing at him, although I felt bad for Tadashi, he pretty much got the same scary treatment I did that one time while playing Seijoh for the first time…” he shivered, muttering about how scary he could be. 

“..That sounds interesting Sho...damnit” Kenma dropped the game as the boss killed him, quickly giving the boy next to him a kiss on the cheek. 

“Yeah! It reminds me of one time while playing- practicing with the girls team in middle school, our-” he stopped for a moment “their pinch server would sometimes hit people heads on purpose, she would sometimes purposely hit their resident hothead during practices” he let out a sigh, his voice sounding less interested as he did a few sentences ago, Kenma took note of this. 

“Did you enjoy playing with the girls team?” Kenma asked, trying to get the ginger to cheer up a bit, however it made him a bit more disinterested.

“It was alright, I wouldn’t have called them my team, but they definitely helped me learn the basics of volleyball.” Puffing his cheeks, Kenma hummed, turning his head away from his game to look at his younger. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you disinterested in anything revolving volleyball.” He noted out loud, Shoyo sputtered. 

“I mean- I didn’t not like them! It was just a bad time in life due to.. reasons'' he shrugged “and besides! Everything got way better after middle school, I'm playing with other players who know the sport, I have an amazing boyfriend-” Kenma blushed “and I'm playing on a boys team!” 

Kenma gave him another kiss on the cheek “yeah, I hope everythings better, but what do you mean you're playing on a boys team?” Shoyo stiffened a bit. 

“I- we didn’t have a boys volleyball club in middle school.” Shoyo stated, suddenly finding the floor very interesting

Kenma knew it wasn’t the full story but he dropped the subject, going back to attempt to defeat the boss. 

After what seemed like an hour of awkward silence (maybe 5 minutes at the most), Shoyo went back to talking about how everything and nothing, how Yamaguchi and Tsukishima had been caught making out in the club room, how Kageyama had gotten scolded by Suga for making fun of the duo, then he went on to talk about something funny his sister did in the morning before. 

When Shoyo talked, Kenma would at least try to make some noise as a response, then he finally beat the boss, he gave a small grin to himself, going to stretch his limbs only to find a heavy weight on his left shoulder. He turned his head to see Shoyo asleep on his shoulder, giving low snores, he gave a small smile and gave the boy a kiss on the forehead, noting that Shoyo had smiled in his sleep after that. 

He gently moved the boy off his shoulder, and into his arms, slowly shaking him a bit “Hey Shoyo, do you want to go to bed? In a more comfortable area, at least.” Shoyo grumbled, nodding in the half asleep way, and Kenma nodded “You’ll need to walk, sweetheart.” He whispered, Shoyo grumbled and slowly dragged himself out of kenmas arms.

He slowly trudged into Kenmas bed, belly flopping and in a starfish position, Kenma smiled, quickly turning his attention back to his PSP to turn it off. 

Kenma dragged himself to lay in bed next to his boyfriend, feeling Shoyo start to cling to him, he brought a hand to the middle of his back in an affectionate gesture, and they both fell into a comfortable rest, well not as much Shoyo. 

Shoyo woke up to his heart pounding, he slowly pulled himself off, he coughed into his shoulder, his breathing- well he couldn’t, he tried to drag breaths into his lungs, only for them to get caught in his throat, to the point where he was starting to panic. He slowly maneuvered his body to where he was sitting up with his knees to his chest- he was flat- he slept in his binder. 

He couldn’t calm his breathing for the death of him, not to mention he felt as though he was coughing up a lung, that and a mix of not being able to breath and panic was making his eyes water, he was crying now. Shoyo felt the bed shift next to him a muttered “..Sho?”

“I- im so-” He coughed, Kenma sat up quickly, especially for someone who doesn’t like to move, he leaned next to Shoyo, not touching him, unsure if it was an asthma attack or a panic attack, it was a mix of both in all actuality.

“Hey, hey, can I touch you?” He said calmly, wincing when Shoyo let out another hard cough, and let out a sob, he nodded.

Kenma brought an arm around him “What do you do when these happen?” He asked, rubbing a hand up and down on his arm, attempting to ground him, it’s been a long time since he’s had to help someone with these.

Shoyo shook his head “I-I dont-dont know- I hav-havent- it’s bee-been a while” He trembled, kenma cursed to himself. 

“Alright, let- lets try a grounding exercise-” Shoyo nodded, letting out a choked sob “Okay, okay five things that you can see, ok? Can you do that for me sweetheart?” He tried, Shoyo tried to sit up straighter, he remembered his mom telling him to do that when he was younger, when he still had asthma attacks. 

“I- you-your hair, my hand-hands-” He hacked again, his eyes wandered around the dark room “yo-your conso-console thingy, uh- i, your hoodie, th-the volleyball ba-gs” He finishes, Kenma hums in praise. 

“Okay sweets, how about four things you can feel?” He said, carefully keeping Shoyo’s posture straight, Shoyo could feel his lungs begin to relax a bit, allowing shallow breaths to escape to his respiratory system, still coughing when he attempted to take deep breaths however. 

They continued on with the senses method until Shoyo could finally take deep breaths, well not really as deep as he would want because of the compression on his chest, but he could breath enough. 

He groaned, and wiped at his face, he was exhausted, and to be honest, he felt like shit. 

“I’m sorry for waking you up” He apologized to his boyfriend, Kenma had a look in his eyes that basically said ‘What the fuck, you literally had an asthma and a panic attack’. 

“Don't apologize for things you can't control.” Shoyo gave him a hesitant look, in a way he felt obligated to tell him, that didn’t change the fact that he was still anxious. 

“I-I actually could have prevented that..” He admitted, although he didn’t have a large chest whatsoever, it was still a bit noticeable if he took off his binder. 

Kenma looked at him “I really don't care if you break up with me right now, I'm really tired and I feel like crap but like… can you turn around for a minute.” Kenma gave him a skeptical look but obliged, turning his back head to look at the wall. 

Shoyo pulled his sports bra from his bag, he pulled the binder off his body with his shirt still on, and then pulled on the sports bra, with his shirt still on (Yes, you can do that. Author has done it). He sighed in relief at being able to breathe, although still a bit shallow. 

“You can stop now.” He said, as Kenma turned around, Shoyo was putting his binder back in his duffel bag. 

“...So, you’re trans?” Kenma asked, Shoyo hesitantly nodded, Kenma scowled “You idiot! You're not supposed to sleep in those things.” He scolded, Shoyo turned his head so fast, you could hear a crack. 

“What-” He gaped, Kenma sent him a slightly annoyed but sympathetic look. 

“I’m not going to break up with you for that, if I was transphobic, I would’ve been kicked off the team a long time ago” He stated, quickly bringing the ginger back into his arms. 

“...What…?” He said, Shoyo’s brain going blank. 

Kenma sighed “Literally, Yaku is trans too.” He admitted, Shoyo once again gaped at him. 

“Woah- What?! He passes so well!” Shoyo squealed, Kenma nodded. 

“So this is what you meant when you said you didn’t like playing on the girls team” Kenma noted out loud, carding a hair through his boyfriends hair, Shoyo nodded. 

“Yeah” He admitted. “My family finally accepted me after middle school, so we got the schools to change my paperwork, so I'm registered as a guy. Although they were hesitant about letting me play in the boys volleyball club” He shared “So I said I would do my best to pass-” He shuddered “like wearing my binder during games and practices, until I ended up passing out during one of our runs” Kenma grumbled.

“That’s not healthy.” He asserted, Shoyo nodded in agreement.

“Yeah-” he yawned, tired from both the attacks and Kenma playing with his hair, Shoyo’s head in Kenma’s lap “-I got an earful from everyone, surprisingly I got it worse from Saltyshima and   
Tadashi, so it turned out Tsukishima was also trans and since Tadashi’s known him for most of his life, he knew the dangers of it.” He admitted, his eyes closing and then opening once he noticed he was nodding off “I don’t even want to mention the scoldings I got from Suga and Daichi, or Coach Ukai“ He stated, shivering a bit. 

“Rightfully so.” Kenma stated, Shoyo whined. 

“But they’re scary...” He said, a light snore coming from his body, he jolted awake “ Yeah.. I'm sorry for not telling you.” Kenma waved him off. 

“It wasn’t something I needed to know. However, that doesn’t excuse the fact you slept in your binder when you know it's not healthy, idiot.” Shoyo sheepishly nodded. 

“I..” He yawned “forgot.” He said, finally letting his eyes close, Kenma grunted, kissing his forehead. 

“Yeah. Try not to do it again, please” He reprimanded, Shoyo nodded, finally succumbing to sleep. 

Kenma yawned, gently moving his head as he slid on his back with Shoyo on his chest, giving one more kiss to the head and let himself fall asleep next to the boy.

Let’s just say, two days after, at practice. Shoyo definitely got scolded by his team, and he definitely doesn’t forget to take off his binder before sleeping.

**Author's Note:**

> While I'll admit, I've never had a panic attack, I was going off of the internet and friends descriptions of a panic attack. When I was younger, I had asthma attacks, and sometimes I still do. 
> 
> If I said anything offensive or incorrect, please tell me and I will fix it. While I'm trans, I don't know everything about medical sides of it, I know other trans people have different experiences, this is just mine.
> 
> Homo/transphobic comments will get deleted.
> 
> Thank you for reading, and thank you for your time :).


End file.
